Dear Christian, It's Okay to Love Yourself

I first started this blog post on August 28, 2015. I picked it back up November 14, 2015. It's something that I've been weighing for a while, searching for the right words to properly articulate. If something doesn't come across right, please just follow along to the end.

One thing I've noticed among Christians is struggling to embrace the concept of loving oneself. This is due to one of the core ideas of Christianity being that we, as individuals, are sinful and cannot attain right-standing with God on our own. Many Christians come to view themselves as wretched individuals who can only be saved by Christ. So when the discussion of loving oneself comes up, many Christians have a hard time with this. I struggled with this myself, on my own personal spiritual journey.

We are taught that loving yourself is pride. I would argue that the egocentric, prideful "self love" of the greedy and arrogant is not so much self love, but rather self lust. How can one truly love anyone if their definition of love is bastardized by a perception of the world that's been so heavily influenced by negative experiences? It's like making putting peanut butter and jelly on two slices of bread, sticking the two clean sides together, putting it on a plate and saying you know how to cook.

In order to truly love anyone, we must first learn to love ourselves. And in order to love ourselves, we must learn what love truly is. Christians think that loving ourselves is wrong, but not only is it NOT wrong, it's the will of God. I've experienced more spiritual growth and understanding in a few months of learning true love and loving myself than I had in years of studying and learning "the walk."

One of the most popular verses in the Bible, John 3:16, says that "God SO LOVED THE WORLD...." The core belief of Christianity is built upon the premise that God loves us. If God loves us, adores us, is it not an insult to the God we love to neglect this light He sees inside of us that He loves so much? "Love the sinner, hate the sin," correct? What is it in the sinner that God sees, that we are told to look at, that is so worthy of love? And if we are capable of seeing this in others, how can be fail to see it in ourselves?

What I think is important for Christians to understand is, when we talk about loving yourself we aren't talking about loving Ego. We are talking about loving your true nature. The real you. The divine within you. The Bible says that believers in Christ are new creations. This is the Higher Self. THIS is what God sees.

Imagine yourself in a pitch dark vacuum holding a flashlight. All around you it is pitch dark for miles and miles. Off in the distance is another person holding another flashlight. What do you see? Do you see darkness? No. You don't actually see darkness. Without light, nothing is visible. Darkness is simply an absence of light. It is this same very light that is found in every living soul. Ignorance and bad experiences can hinder this light, like a candle in a glass jar with dirt and char on the sides. But the light still exists. This is the light that light sees and recognizes.

Jesus gave only one commandment: Love. But he outlined it as such: Love the Lord your God with every fiber of your being, and love your neighbor.....AS YOURSELF. We are not commanded to love our neighbors more than ourselves. Yet this is what many Christians are taught in a twisted interpretation of laying down our lives. Laying down our lives means setting aside the ego, the light shade, and nurturing our light.

When Jesus walked the countryside healing the sick and being love, he withdrew to himself on a regular basis to pray and meditate. THIS is self love. He gave all that he had, but he did not fail to neglect himself. This applies to all aspects of life. If we revere our Creator, we nurture that which He created out of love. This extends to everything from maintaining spiritual health to proper physical and emotional health.

If somebody walks all over you, it is not love to sit back and tolerate it. This is abuse, and sitting back and allowing it to continue while you suffer is not being love. It is self-abuse. It is no different than sticking a needle in your arm and shooting up pure Afghan heroin. Would you allow someone to march into your house and urinate all over your belongings? When all is said and done, there is nothing more precious than our light, our soul. It is our very life, our very essence. So tell me exactly how it is the will of God to tolerate mistreatment and allow others to walk all over you....

The way we treat others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. By standing up for ourselves in a loving manner, not only are we loving ourselves but we are saying to the person mistreating us that they aren't loving themselves and because we love them, we will not allow them to treat themselves in such a way. Take the bottle of whiskey out of the alcoholic's hand.

The way we treat others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. It is only when we first learn self-love that we can truly love others according to what love truly is. Stop judging yourself, start loving yourself. We cannot change the past. What's done is done. In the eternal right here, right now, you are light and God is madly and deeply in love with you. What is it that this light sees in you that cause Him to send for an eternal vibration that causes atoms to collide in such a way so as to create the incredible physical universe in which we are a part? It is something so precious, it must be revered.

Nurture this light inside yourself. In doing so you will find that the shade of ego can no longer contain you. And in doing so you will place yourself in harmony with the light of creation, and others will be attracted to you like a beacon in the night. Not only is this okay to do, this is the very life we were created to live.

"A Greater Love Has No Man Than This...."

I've been tossing around the idea for this blog post for quite some time now, but I've finally been able to tie everything together on the morning of Good Friday, the 2nd most sacred of Christian holidays (after Easter). It is the day in which Christians world wide celebrate the death of the Christ for the redemption of humanity. A quote that has been attributed to Him goes as follows: "A greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends."

As a young Christian that verse spoke to me on a few levels. First of all, what touched me was the tremendous love of the Christ in willingly laying down His life for the sake of humanity. The second part was the last two words: "his friends." I was touched that the Christ saw us as his friends while making His sacrifice.

But that's not what this blog post is all about. My intended audience is not only people of the Christian faith, but truth seekers of all spiritual beliefs. I may seem to ramble and wander a bit in this post, but bear with me. I will touch upon a few points but it's really one central theme.

In recent months that quote from the Bible resonated with me in a different way. Because Christians believe the Christ physically died for mankind, the verse is often interpreted as choosing to physically die for our friends. But I'm not so sure that's all that was being said in that quote. Dying for one's friends doesn't have to be a physical death. We can die to self at any given point of any day. Laying down one's life for one's friends is a simple matter of laying down the ego out of love for others. Just as the Christ said, "If any man shall follow me he must carry his cross daily."

Selfish self-love vs. Selfless self-love

It is very important that I make clear what is meant by "death of ego", from a perspective of self-love. How can one be practicing self-love by denying ego? It's very simple. It's simply a matter of being aware of our role as an intricate piece of the whole of the universe. By setting aside selfishness, we are acknowledging that while we are important, no one of us is any more important than anyone else. We are actually loving ourselves by loving the whole

When we are being selfish (and choosing not to forgive is one example of a very harmful selfishness) we are not in harmony with the natural flow of the universe. The natural flow is love. If a cherry tree is planted in bad soil and not in harmony with nature, it will not bear fruit. The very purpose of the cherry tree is to produce cherries. That is its unique role in the universe. Apple trees cannot produce cherries. Only cherry trees can do so. Just so, each and every single one of us has something unique to offer to the whole of the universe. If we are not aligned properly, in good, nutrient-rich soil, we are not fulfilling our role in the whole.

We live in a symbiotic universe. No one person is an island. We are all deeply interconnected.

That being said, we must pursue our dreams. We are given dreams as part of our purpose in the whole. Do not deny yourself of your dreams, so long as your dreams are pursued in a loving way, respectful of the role of others along our path. Place yourself in good soil, surrounded by those who will nurture you in your pursuit of bearing your unique fruit. Those who would discourage us are toxic (usually because they, themselves, are not living in harmony with the flow of the universe at that particular moment).

To pursue our dreams is the highest form of worship and dedication. To focus our intent and energy on manifesting into reality the vision we have been given. And just as with all forms of worship, it is simply a matter of the attitude of our heart while performing the act. Lay down the ego, embrace your integral role in the universe. A greater love has no man than this.

Eyedeas Never Die

This post is a little different from what I typically post, but it's something (someone) who's been on my mind lately. Micheal "Eyedea" Larsen was an incredibly talented underground hip-hop artist from Minnesota who left this world at a young age but with an incredible legacy. He was a little under a year and a half younger than me, and ever since the first time I heard him on the track "Savior?" with Slug and Sole, I felt an instant connection with him. In 2000, while I was living in Haiti, I was delighted to see him get a national platform to display his talent by winning the HBO Blaze freestyle rap battle. His body perished in October 2010 at age 28 of an accidental drug overdose. As a person who writes rap lyrics and poetry myself, the content and cadence of his lyrics were exactly how I write. I've always felt out of place on this earth. Some of his lyrics on that particular track were:

"I've sipped the cup of reality, now my brain is dying
I try and explain I'm not human, now my room is an insane asylum
.......
Hey, I knew my origin was beyond this galaxy, even as a baby
I asked the ones who told to call parents and they said I was crazy
......
I'm like a polar bear living in the equator
Or an ice cube in the refrigerator
I'm outta place and outer space is where I need to get ya'll
So when you come down, just remember I'm leaving with ya'll"

As the years passed I got a bit disconnected from following the hip-hop scene. It wasn't until after learning of his death that I sought out more of his music. To this day, there are two particular songs that he made that are so enlightened and profound, I listen to them while I jog and meditate and get my perspective aligned and feel my connection as part of the whole. I wanted to share them, because they are two of the songs that hold the most meaning and inspiration to me. I am inspired to know that he left this art behind for generations to come, and Eyedeas never die. He truly was ahead of his time.

His mother still uses his website as a personal blog to help with her healing from the pain of his passing. http://www.micheallarsen.com/ I wanted to use my blog as a platform to send some love and light in her direction, and let her know that her son's legacy will live on forever through the many lives that he has touched and will continue to touch. He is one of my single biggest inspirations and reasons why I have this blog and am writing my book. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you for contributing your part to this universe.