Saturday, November 14, 2015

Dear Christian, It's Okay to Love Yourself

I first started this blog post on August 28, 2015. I picked it back up November 14, 2015. It's something that I've been weighing for a while, searching for the right words to properly articulate. If something doesn't come across right, please just follow along to the end.

One thing I've noticed among Christians is struggling to embrace the concept of loving oneself. This is due to one of the core ideas of Christianity being that we, as individuals, are sinful and cannot attain right-standing with God on our own. Many Christians come to view themselves as wretched individuals who can only be saved by Christ. So when the discussion of loving oneself comes up, many Christians have a hard time with this. I struggled with this myself, on my own personal spiritual journey.

We are taught that loving yourself is pride. I would argue that the egocentric, prideful "self love" of the greedy and arrogant is not so much self love, but rather self lust. How can one truly love anyone if their definition of love is bastardized by a perception of the world that's been so heavily influenced by negative experiences? It's like making putting peanut butter and jelly on two slices of bread, sticking the two clean sides together, putting it on a plate and saying you know how to cook.

In order to truly love anyone, we must first learn to love ourselves. And in order to love ourselves, we must learn what love truly is. Christians think that loving ourselves is wrong, but not only is it NOT wrong, it's the will of God. I've experienced more spiritual growth and understanding in a few months of learning true love and loving myself than I had in years of studying and learning "the walk."

One of the most popular verses in the Bible, John 3:16, says that "God SO LOVED THE WORLD...." The core belief of Christianity is built upon the premise that God loves us. If God loves us, adores us, is it not an insult to the God we love to neglect this light He sees inside of us that He loves so much? "Love the sinner, hate the sin," correct? What is it in the sinner that God sees, that we are told to look at, that is so worthy of love? And if we are capable of seeing this in others, how can be fail to see it in ourselves?

What I think is important for Christians to understand is, when we talk about loving yourself we aren't talking about loving Ego. We are talking about loving your true nature. The real you. The divine within you. The Bible says that believers in Christ are new creations. This is the Higher Self. THIS is what God sees.

Imagine yourself in a pitch dark vacuum holding a flashlight. All around you it is pitch dark for miles and miles. Off in the distance is another person holding another flashlight. What do you see? Do you see darkness? No. You don't actually see darkness. Without light, nothing is visible. Darkness is simply an absence of light. It is this same very light that is found in every living soul. Ignorance and bad experiences can hinder this light, like a candle in a glass jar with dirt and char on the sides. But the light still exists. This is the light that light sees and recognizes.

Jesus gave only one commandment: Love. But he outlined it as such: Love the Lord your God with every fiber of your being, and love your neighbor.....AS YOURSELF. We are not commanded to love our neighbors more than ourselves. Yet this is what many Christians are taught in a twisted interpretation of laying down our lives. Laying down our lives means setting aside the ego, the light shade, and nurturing our light.

When Jesus walked the countryside healing the sick and being love, he withdrew to himself on a regular basis to pray and meditate. THIS is self love. He gave all that he had, but he did not fail to neglect himself. This applies to all aspects of life. If we revere our Creator, we nurture that which He created out of love. This extends to everything from maintaining spiritual health to proper physical and emotional health.

If somebody walks all over you, it is not love to sit back and tolerate it. This is abuse, and sitting back and allowing it to continue while you suffer is not being love. It is self-abuse. It is no different than sticking a needle in your arm and shooting up pure Afghan heroin. Would you allow someone to march into your house and urinate all over your belongings? When all is said and done, there is nothing more precious than our light, our soul. It is our very life, our very essence. So tell me exactly how it is the will of God to tolerate mistreatment and allow others to walk all over you....

The way we treat others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. By standing up for ourselves in a loving manner, not only are we loving ourselves but we are saying to the person mistreating us that they aren't loving themselves and because we love them, we will not allow them to treat themselves in such a way. Take the bottle of whiskey out of the alcoholic's hand.

The way we treat others is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. It is only when we first learn self-love that we can truly love others according to what love truly is. Stop judging yourself, start loving yourself. We cannot change the past. What's done is done. In the eternal right here, right now, you are light and God is madly and deeply in love with you. What is it that this light sees in you that cause Him to send for an eternal vibration that causes atoms to collide in such a way so as to create the incredible physical universe in which we are a part? It is something so precious, it must be revered.

Nurture this light inside yourself. In doing so you will find that the shade of ego can no longer contain you. And in doing so you will place yourself in harmony with the light of creation, and others will be attracted to you like a beacon in the night. Not only is this okay to do, this is the very life we were created to live.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Bob Marley. Plus Reflections on Love

Bob Marley

Well, Thursday, October 1st meant the start of a new calendar month. Which means September 2015 was the first full calendar month since the passing of my beloved grandfather. As I neared the end of my morning jog I was hit by this fact. With tears running down my cheek, I asked, "Does it get any easier? I miss you so much, G-Pop." Less than an hour and a half later, he would answer me in his typical humor.

For those who don't know, my grandfather is originally from Maine. Since his passing there's been one special memory constantly replaying in my mind. When I was 16 years old I went along with him and a family friend on a canoe trip in Maine. It was a special moment for me because I was the only family member along with him. I carried his canoe through the Maine woods, over rocks and hills, for over a mile as we portaged from one creek to the next.

One of my grandfather's favorite treats from Maine is a soda that is uniquely "Maine." It's called "Moxie." It's actually the oldest soda brand in the country but can pretty much only be found in Maine. The taste is very different, definitely an acquired taste. But I grew to love it, and he would often have some at his house in Pennsylvania that he'd bring back down with him from his trips to Maine.

So as I drove in to work on the morning of October 1st, 2015, I randomly broke out singing "Redemption Song" by Bob Marley. I haven't heard the song for years, and as I finished I said to myself, "Where the heck did that come from? Why am I singing that song?" I found it especially strange being that I had a totally different song stuck in my head for the past few days, not even the same genre.

Then I changed the radio station to the Paul & Young Ron Show on Big 105.9 Miami. They had a guest comedian in studio. I'd never heard of the man before, but then he started making references to New England and more specifically, Maine. They then said his name: Bob Marley. I Googled "Bob Marley Comedian," and surely enough, his name is even spelled the same way as the reggae legend. His YouTube page calls him "Maine's King of Comedy." And to top it all off, he began talking about Moxie and a Maine YouTube sensation, of whom I'd never even heard up to this point, "Little Peter the Moxie Boy." (Again, Peter being my birth name)

Leave it to my grandfather to use comedy to speak to me from the other side. Yes, I miss you dearly, G-Pop. Thank you for letting me know you're still with me.

Reflections on Love

The past few weeks I've been pretty quiet, just keeping to myself. Living and enjoying every moment. One thing I've been reflecting on, as usual, is love. More specifically, a description of love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13: "Love always believes the best." This doesn't mean that love is naive. This means that love, considering its relationship with truth, sees through the ego and deception and sees the higher self. Love sees the best in a person in spite of their flaws and shortcomings. Not only does love see the best in a person (including oneself), but love is fully devoted to nurturing and bringing forth the best in a person. Nothing delights me more than to see my loved ones walking in their fullest potential, being the person they were created to be. This is what love does.

That's all for now. Love.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

It's That Kind of Love

It doesn't judge,
doesn't waver,
doesn't budge
I've been consumed by that kind of love.

vibrating from the spiritual to the physical
Something mystical.
It's that kind of love.

It melts the heart that's frozen,
illuminates those in the dark
feeling lonely
It's that kind of love.

These words can't describe the depth
nor how vast
this love that openly accepts
the downtrodden outcast
It's that kind of love.

All of creation is nothing more than the visible manifestation of the vibration of this frequency we call "God,"
We experience it as "That kind of love."

It's who I am,
who you are,
each just a part of the whole
that is "That kind of love."

There is no picking me up
from the oceans that I fell into
that kind of love.

Not sent from heaven above
it's the multidimensional force that transcends,
God with us, Emmanuel,
that kind of love.

When I tell you I love you,
it's not a simple gesture born from being courteous.
It's who I am.
It's THAT kind of love.

Friday, August 28, 2015


Thursday, August 27, 2015. The world lost one of its brightest lights. You may not know him personally, but he shined so brightly that you definitely know his light. It is the very same light that helped illuminate my heart with love. The very love that drives these words to be typed. This very light that shines on through me to all of those I come in contact with. So by the simple fact that you are reading these words, you, too, have been touched by this light.

This light is love. Pure love. Unconditional love. A humble heart passionately in love with his Creator. The world may have seen other men as great as him, but it's definitely never known any greater.

Thursday, August 27, 2015. Robert Thomas. My grandfather. His mission on this earth came to a glorious conclusion. "To God be the glory." That's all he would say. He did his part, and this world will never be the same. He truly turned darkness into light everywhere he walked.

"To God be the glory."

My grandfather baptized me when I was 9 years old. As I came out of the water, I heard a still, small voice within me whisper, "Go to all the nations, make disciples....teaching my commandments...." Matthew 28:19-20. Right in Kennett Square, PA. The town at the center of the route from one Peter Christopher Drive to the other.

I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to see him the last weekend he was with us. I was the last grandchild to see him. He told everyone he was just waiting to see me. When I arrived at his house I noticed a calendar tossed onto his kitchen counter. It was open to the month of January 2015. There was a Bible verse on the calendar. Matthew 28:19-20. "Go to all the nations, make disciples...."

His final instructions to me were to "Be a man of the Word." I will always honor this. And as I scour the words of Christ, looking for His commandments that I've been instructed to teach, I only come across one commandment: Love.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself." - Luke 10:27

"This is my commandment: that you love one another just as I have loved you." John 15:12

And so, I carry on his mission the only way I know how: by being love.

I know where he is now, and I know I'll be reunited with this tremendous spirit one day before I know it. I was blessed to be able to know this day was coming, so nothing has been left unsaid. I laid awake last night, contemplating how it could hurt so much even knowing all that I know. And that's when I realized, his love and light was so strong that his absence from this world is tangible. I'm left with a dark, empty void in my heart, a place reserved especially for this man.

This is the lesson I've learned through the temporary loss of the most loving person I've ever met. To let my light shine so bright that, when it returns home, those it shined upon feel left in the dark with the absence of my light.

And this is why I write. I've always contemplated my own mortality. I know one day this world will be but an afterthought. But if there's one thing I'm keenly aware of, it's the impact one small act of kindness can have. All it takes is one smile, one "Have a wonderful day!" There's no telling the ripple effect one loving act can have throughout the echoes of eternity. And ultimately, it's not about us as individuals. It's about us as One.

So here I am, G-Pop. Your absence is tangible, but I will carry on your light. I will be love. I will be light. I will make disciples, spreading this light to the deepest, darkest places.

To God be the glory.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

26 and 63: Abundance

About three weeks ago I seemed to have been translated into an alternate dimension. I was lead to see myself for the special person that I am, humbly. We are all special. We are all made from the very fabric of the universe, fused together by love. But I stumbled into a couple of synchronicities that left me at a bit of a loss for words, hence the two week delay in sharing this story with the world.

It all started with me going through my regular routine. Every Tuesday and Wednesday I delivered organic produce and would listen to 4 different podcasts while on my routes. There were two podcasts in particular, The Higherside Chats and The Grimerica Show, that always have intriguing guests that I don't always necessarily agree with, but I love having my mind stimulated and being challenged to think and examine my world view.

There was one guest who had appeared on both shows within a few weeks of each other. He goes by the name Crrow777 and has a YouTube channel in which he monitors the skies and the moon. He came to the conclusion that the moon is a hologram and nothing in our world is as we've been told. And while I find that particular claim to be way out there (I shouted at the podcasts that he's gone on one too any drug-induced trips), I still subscribed to his YouTube channel because he did make some claims that I found to be interesting.

A few days after listening to him on the Grimerica Show and subscribing to his YouTube channel he posted a video where he entered his name "Crrow777" into Google Maps and it showed his location to be the CERN laboratory in Switzerland. He was convinced this was being done intentionally because he had just been talking about CERN on Grimerica.

Inspired by this, I entered my name into Google Maps - first my pen name (Aydin Adam), which turned up no direct results, and then my birth name: Peter Christopher. I found that there are two streets in the whole world that bear my exact full name - both are called "Peter Christopher Drive". Not only this, but both of these streets are located in the county in Pennsylvania where I grew up and my grandparents still live. Insanity. But it goes on.

The next day I decided to map out the drive from one Peter Christopher Drive to the other. Not only are they in the same county where I grew up, but they're 26 miles from one another. And then I noticed something even more wild. At exactly the halfway point of the drive plotted out to me by Google Maps is the town and street where my grandparents live (maternal grandparents. Their last name isn't Christopher). I've always told anyone who'd ask that my hero in life is my grandfather. I've never known a more pure example of what it means to be love than him.

So where does 63 come in? Well, that same morning I went out on some errands. I had to buy some things at 3 different stores and had a limited amount of cash to spend. I made my first two stops and had exactly $63 left to buy groceries. I arrived at the grocery store knowing I had exactly $63 to spend and could not go a penny over. I grabbed the things I needed and checked out. As the cashier scanned the last few items I saw I was pushing it close to my budget. She scanned the last item and tax was calculated. My total came out to exactly $63.

Now, my mind was already blown from the discovery of my roads. Throw this into the mix and I was completely speechless. I went home to look up the spiritual meaning of the numbers 26 and 63. As I was doing this my wife called me and told me her niece is graduating this month and by chance she'll be able to attend. She didn't realize she'd be in town for her niece's graduation when we booked her flight. I asked her what day her niece is graduating. "April 26th," she told me.
26. The exact mile distance that I'd just discovered separate the only two streets in the world that bear my full name.
So what do these numbers mean?

26 (source): The number 26 is made up of the energies and attributes of number 2 and number 6. The number 2 relates to duality, service and duty, balance and harmony, adaptability, diplomacy, co-operation, selflessness, faith and trust and Divine life purpose and soul mission.  The number 6 relates to the vibrations of love and nurturing, responsibility and reliability, honesty and integrity, teaching others, the material and financial aspects of life, and reflects upon the home and family.

Angel Number 26 is a message from your angels that your material and earthly needs will always be met, so have faith and trust that the Universe will always provide.  Follow your Divine inner-guidance and allow it to prompt you to take positive action in your life.

Angel Number 26 asks you to be diplomatic and co-operative with others in order to set a positive example for others to learn from.  It tells you that as you serve your Divine life purpose you will reap the spiritual and emotional rewards of love, trust and companionship as well as manifest material and financial rewards.
Angel Number 26 also tells of achieving and attaining fame and/or material rewards.

63 (source): Number 63 is a combination of the vibrations of number 6 and number 3.  Number 6 brings its attributes of the monetary and material aspects of life, providing and provision, balance and love of home and family, grace and dignity, simplicity, reliability, responsibility and the ability to compromise.  Number 3 adds its energies of manifesting prosperity and abundance, self-expression and communication, support and encouragement, talents and skills, enthusiasm and joy.  Number 3 also resonates with the energies of the Ascended Masters, and they help you to focus on the Divine spark within yourself and others, and assist with manifesting your desires. The Ascended Masters help you to find clarity, peace and love within.  

Angel Number 63 is a message from your angels and the Ascended Masters that they are working closely with you in regards to the material and financial aspects of your day-to-day life.  They are ensuring that all runs according to plan and that your material needs are met as you live and serve your Divine life purpose and soul mission.

Angel Number 63 is a message that the life choices and decisions you have made have brought about positive opportunities that will ensure that your material and monetary needs will be met in your life.  It is also an indication that you will be devoting more of your time and energy towards your spiritual pursuits, life purpose and soul mission.  
They both share the significance of being a sign that my financial needs would be met. Mind you, my only source of income since September had been from delivering organic produce for about 9 hours a week (only a small handful of customers tipped) and the occasional translation job I'd get translating court decisions from English to Haitian Creole (that in itself being another irony... I moved to Florida from the Philadelphia area thinking I'd have better opportunity finding work with my Creole fluency, only to finally get paid to translate for Philadelphia County some 13 years after leaving). So financially speaking, I haven't had the freedom I'd like to even afford some basic luxuries. I never stressed over money, and I've never even shared my situation with strangers because it simply wasn't and isn't an issue for me. God/the Universe always provides (I had days where I didn't have gas or money to make it home from doing deliveries, and then I'd get unexpected tips and always had enough to finish my route and get home).

So I always go through my days with a smile. It was through this situation that I came to know true abundance, and it is mine. In the capitalistic society we live in we always associate abundance with money and possessions. And while, yes, this is one form of abundance, true abundance comes from within. While I would be stuck in traffic surrounded by the masses pursuing material abundance, I LIVE abundance.

November 2014 I had no steady income to provide a Thanksgiving dinner for my family. When Thanksgiving Day came I had to refuse turkeys because I simply didn't have enough room in my freezer. My family enjoyed a full feast and I don't even think I spent $35. Abundance.

True abundance begins with gratitude. There's not a morning I wake up that I'm not grateful for all that I have. In my years on this earth I've dined at 5 star establishments in Geneva and slept in 2 room tin-roof houses. I've witnessed more abundance in the homes of those the world would define as the "have-nots" than among those the world would call the "haves". I refuse to believe that the superficial, vain millionaire has more abundance than the man who tends to their yard with a smile on his face and a song in his heart everyday.

My heart breaks every bit as much for the spiritually sleeping wealthy man or woman seeking to numb the pain of their life with drugs and alcohol as it does for the homeless child scavenging through garbage dumps for scraps of food to survive (which I've also witnessed first-hand). The world sees the rich man or woman and doesn't understand how someone with so much could throw it all away because of the stranglehold of addiction. Well it's quite simple: it's because they lack abundance but society doesn't comprehend this with its skewed perception of what abundance means, and thus what we are left with is a morally and spiritually bankrupt society.

Abundance is a state of being. It comes from within. I do not believe my financial situation will remain as stagnant as it has been, but it's also not what I seek. I know where I see myself in 10 years. I wasn't sure how I would get there, but now the path has become much more clear and steps are being made to manifest this reality which is already born within me. This blog and the book I am writing may or may not play a role in this reality manifesting. Quite frankly, I write not for wealth or acclaim. I write because I know that the day will come where Aydin Adam is an after thought. So I write my words for those to come, to be a light along the paths of others.

We all come from the same place and we will all ultimately return there. In my words I pour out my very being, that others may see who they are, too. This is all that I am. It is all that I can do to give back.

Friday, April 3, 2015

"A Greater Love Has No Man Than This...."

I've been tossing around the idea for this blog post for quite some time now, but I've finally been able to tie everything together on the morning of Good Friday, the 2nd most sacred of Christian holidays (after Easter). It is the day in which Christians world wide celebrate the death of the Christ for the redemption of humanity. A quote that has been attributed to Him goes as follows: "A greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends."

As a young Christian that verse spoke to me on a few levels. First of all, what touched me was the tremendous love of the Christ in willingly laying down His life for the sake of humanity. The second part was the last two words: "his friends." I was touched that the Christ saw us as his friends while making His sacrifice.

But that's not what this blog post is all about. My intended audience is not only people of the Christian faith, but truth seekers of all spiritual beliefs. I may seem to ramble and wander a bit in this post, but bear with me. I will touch upon a few points but it's really one central theme.

In recent months that quote from the Bible resonated with me in a different way. Because Christians believe the Christ physically died for mankind, the verse is often interpreted as choosing to physically die for our friends. But I'm not so sure that's all that was being said in that quote. Dying for one's friends doesn't have to be a physical death. We can die to self at any given point of any day. Laying down one's life for one's friends is a simple matter of laying down the ego out of love for others. Just as the Christ said, "If any man shall follow me he must carry his cross daily."

Selfish self-love vs. Selfless self-love

It is very important that I make clear what is meant by "death of ego", from a perspective of self-love. How can one be practicing self-love by denying ego? It's very simple. It's simply a matter of being aware of our role as an intricate piece of the whole of the universe. By setting aside selfishness, we are acknowledging that while we are important, no one of us is any more important than anyone else. We are actually loving ourselves by loving the whole

When we are being selfish (and choosing not to forgive is one example of a very harmful selfishness) we are not in harmony with the natural flow of the universe. The natural flow is love. If a cherry tree is planted in bad soil and not in harmony with nature, it will not bear fruit. The very purpose of the cherry tree is to produce cherries. That is its unique role in the universe. Apple trees cannot produce cherries. Only cherry trees can do so. Just so, each and every single one of us has something unique to offer to the whole of the universe. If we are not aligned properly, in good, nutrient-rich soil, we are not fulfilling our role in the whole.

We live in a symbiotic universe. No one person is an island. We are all deeply interconnected.

That being said, we must pursue our dreams. We are given dreams as part of our purpose in the whole. Do not deny yourself of your dreams, so long as your dreams are pursued in a loving way, respectful of the role of others along our path. Place yourself in good soil, surrounded by those who will nurture you in your pursuit of bearing your unique fruit. Those who would discourage us are toxic (usually because they, themselves, are not living in harmony with the flow of the universe at that particular moment).

To pursue our dreams is the highest form of worship and dedication. To focus our intent and energy on manifesting into reality the vision we have been given. And just as with all forms of worship, it is simply a matter of the attitude of our heart while performing the act. Lay down the ego, embrace your integral role in the universe. A greater love has no man than this.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Letting Go

People of faith love to give strength those going through trials and difficulties with these popular words of encouragement from the Bible: "God will never give you more than you can handle." But the thing is, those words don't appear in the Bible. And quite frankly, I don't believe those words to be true whatsoever.

There are times and situations in life when God/the Universe DOES throw at us more than we're capable of handling. Because we're not meant to shoulder these burdens. We're not supposed to handle it. We're supposed to learn to let go and trust in divine providence, knowing that the universe is constantly conspiring on our behalf. Step out of what your eyes see and gain proper eternal perspective. We cannot always change circumstances, but what we can change is our perception of the circumstances.

Learning to let go is a critical step in learning to love God and oneself. Fear wants us to hold on and try to maintain control. But fear is the opposite of love. Perfect love casts away all fear. Where love reigns, fear cannot reside. Usually we hold onto things out of the fear of letting go. Walking in love is not merely a matter of loving others, it is also a matter of walking fearlessly, confident and secure that our Creator loves us infinitely and all things we encounter in things life work for good, and ultimately lead us back to the same love that is the fabric of the manifest universe around us.

Let go of fear. Let go and let love.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Eyedeas Never Die

This post is a little different from what I typically post, but it's something (someone) who's been on my mind lately. Micheal "Eyedea" Larsen was an incredibly talented underground hip-hop artist from Minnesota who left this world at a young age but with an incredible legacy. He was a little under a year and a half younger than me, and ever since the first time I heard him on the track "Savior?" with Slug and Sole, I felt an instant connection with him. In 2000, while I was living in Haiti, I was delighted to see him get a national platform to display his talent by winning the HBO Blaze freestyle rap battle. His body perished in October 2010 at age 28 of an accidental drug overdose. As a person who writes rap lyrics and poetry myself, the content and cadence of his lyrics were exactly how I write. I've always felt out of place on this earth. Some of his lyrics on that particular track were:

"I've sipped the cup of reality, now my brain is dying
I try and explain I'm not human, now my room is an insane asylum
Hey, I knew my origin was beyond this galaxy, even as a baby
I asked the ones who told to call parents and they said I was crazy
I'm like a polar bear living in the equator
Or an ice cube in the refrigerator
I'm outta place and outer space is where I need to get ya'll
So when you come down, just remember I'm leaving with ya'll"

As the years passed I got a bit disconnected from following the hip-hop scene. It wasn't until after learning of his death that I sought out more of his music. To this day, there are two particular songs that he made that are so enlightened and profound, I listen to them while I jog and meditate and get my perspective aligned and feel my connection as part of the whole. I wanted to share them, because they are two of the songs that hold the most meaning and inspiration to me. I am inspired to know that he left this art behind for generations to come, and Eyedeas never die. He truly was ahead of his time.

His mother still uses his website as a personal blog to help with her healing from the pain of his passing. I wanted to use my blog as a platform to send some love and light in her direction, and let her know that her son's legacy will live on forever through the many lives that he has touched and will continue to touch. He is one of my single biggest inspirations and reasons why I have this blog and am writing my book. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you for contributing your part to this universe.